So Friday I was leaving for a one night training workshop at a camp 2 1/2 hours away. E was scheduled for a soccer game that usually ends at 6:15 and M had football practice until about 6 pm. G was supposed to go to the game and then pick up M. Turns out G wasn't sure if he'd make the game, but he'd be there to pick E up.
School cancelled the soccer game, which meant that E needed to be picked up by 5 PM, so I emailed G in the morning to let him know that. he emails me back that it will be tight, he might be late. Then I get a voicemail that he's not sure if I emailed him because the email disappeared and 5 pm will be tough - what's the latest she can be picked up (um 5, duh) .
So I email the team asking if anyone can be a back up for a ride if necessary.
By about 2 PM I hadn't heard anything so I called G to say that I understand he's working, if he can't get E on time, I'll have her come home on the bus afterschool and skip practice.
He snaps at me on the phone and says 5 PM won't work for me and got real snippy ..."I have an important job, blahblahblah... don't worry about it" and hung up on me.
So I called the school to say that E should come home. Then I call G back up to say thanks for hanging up on me, don't worry about E, she's coming home, you don't have a conflict anymore.
He yells and asks why did I interfere? How awful it is that E will miss practice, he had it under control blahblahblah.
I tell him I was trying to remove the inconvenience for him since he has such an important job yada yada. He tells me I shouldn't "fuck with him" or I'll regret it, don't interfere with his custody...stay out of it and leave... over and over - don't fuck with me and play games (wtf?)
Says I'm a bad parent for having E miss practice and how dare I leave her home unsupervised!
@@ She is 13!
He threatened me with legal, financial and custody issues, told me I was unstable and unfit, said I should see someone, I should take meds.. ...by this time I was pacing the kitchen floor and my voice was wavering and probably rising.
I kept saying what are you talking about, why are you being so rude and unreasonable!? This is unfair!I was trying to make YOUR life easier like I always have.
*And he's out of town next week and this is one night he has with the kids in our own home - and he couldn't get home on a friday night at a reasonable time *and he was leaving at 7 AM Saturday to take the boat out of the water. I got M a ride to and from his fb practice on Saturday morning...
He couldn't even be with them for 24 freakin hours.
And when I got home tonight... E told me he ended up getting home a little after 4 PM on Friday...wtf? So even though he gave me shit about how inconvenient it was to be home in time to pick E up, and what a fuck-up I am, he *somehow rearranged things to get home even earlier than planned.
Fuckker.
And of course, I got several offers from other moms to give E a ride, but by then I already had things arranged. I didn't want loose ends while I was gone. I have ALWAYS arranged all the details when I'm away so that he's not inconvenienced. I even left a mac and cheese casserole and hot dogs so there'd be food friday evening because I *knew he wouldn't have planned that.
Sorry for my awful lack of quotations and improper use of punctuation.
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Nothing's changed legally, and I know I should have made some progress by now; but maybe I'm dragging my feet because I'm too old to have a temper tantrum and scream FUCK out loud for a few hours. Because that's what I'd like to do.
I'm ANGRY that he thought it was easier to walk away, to start up with someone new, no MATTER HOW BAD IT WAS; rather than go to the counseling that I BEGGED him to go to with me.
Foolishly thought I was all done with the crying. Oh was I so, so wrong.
The triggers: first a session with Mickey and the counselor; then a conversation with George about the furnace/ AC/ hot water heater replacement where he reminded me that it's my house now and he's not living there. And then said we might as well do the whole thing and do it right while simultaneously reminding me that it will run down our savings and he has to pay for a place to live now. Oh, he agreed to pay for the whole thing with no argument, it was the reminder that he's getting his own place that set me off.
SFS (A Shitfuckstack)
(That was yesterday...)
And today....
Fuckkkk fuckkk, fuckkk. FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!
A bunch of things happened tonight which have me pissed, bawling, feeling raw and angry; but what kills me is that despite the fact that I have said NOTHING to the kids about G having a girlfriend, the kids know. He apparently told them on Saturday, but E knew already because a friend of hers at camp mentioned that she and her parents were on the boat (MY BOAT!) with G and "L".
That makes me even more angry. I feel like screaming from the fucking rooftop that he is a cheating bastard and started this before he left me.
He says I "abandoned" him, I say I left him alone partly because he wanted that and partly out of self-preservation. I mean, how close and intimate would *you feel towards someone who belittles you, bullies you, and casts you aside?
*I was unhappy too, but I loved him.
And I believed in our vows - "til death do us part", "for better or for worse"
Yeah, I'm feeling raw right now.
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