These are trying times

So, despite the fact that I've taken away cell phone, computer, ipod, boombox.... I don't want this to be a prison sentence.

I want him to have some hope. Some reason to feel comfortable and happy in his own home.

I offered to rent a movie to watch together.

He wanted to visit his friend next door.

So I let him visit the neighbors. They're good boys, ages 14, 17, 19. Their house is filled with kids, a hangout spot. And an X-Box. They have a fire pit in the back yard.... a nice gathering place with parental supervision.

My son came home for dinner and wanted to go back to their house. I wanted to tell him to come back at 9:30.

I said 10 PM.

He said 10:30.

I said no, 10 PM.

He left.

I set the oven timer to go off at 10 PM.

He came home at 10:30, apologizing for being late. I told him curfew was 10, and there were consequences for being late. He started arguing about 10 vs 10:30. I told him the consequence was not going over there on Saturday night. He got angry. Said that I agreed to 10:30 (not).

Punched the wall.

Oops.

Yes, there is a fist-sized hole in the drywall in my upstairs hall. :-(

Discussion with Dad followed.

What started out as a discussion of curfew and broken drywall, turned into a critique of his performance doing community service at the Y. You're a slacker. You underwhelm. You took a bathroom break every 5 minutes. You don't show initiative. You didn't finish the job, you've never worked hard a day in your life....blahblahblah.

Arguing, raised voices (my son). Name calling (my husband). Swearing (my son). To be fair, this time my husband wasn't yelling.

It took every ounce of will power in my body not to interject myself in the discussion downstairs.

I know from experience that it only gets uglier.

I've started taking notes. In addition to this blog.

I really wish I could tape everything. I don't think my husband realizes how ugly his words can be. How awful it is for a child (even an almost-man, belligerent, defiant child) to hear that you think they're a loser. That they can't be trusted. That they don't do anything well.


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